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self search
​make it about a personal journey

Trojan Horse For Real

4/29/2018

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I had a drive-by download happen this week and NOT to my computer.  The upload was quickly stashed into a Trojan Horse black Jeep, and off they went.  The malware wormed through the neighborhood presenting themselves as honest individuals looking for work.  The upload included my computers, jewelry, keepsakes, photos and more.  They entered through the backdoor, and interestingly I found this has a tech term counterpart called RAT.  How appropriate.  Remote Access Trojan (RAT), defined by TechTarget, “is a malicious program (person, in my case) that secretly creates a backdoor (I had one) into an infected system (not until they arrived) that allows threat actors (I guess this is politically correct) to remote access it without altering the user (I was at Costco) or the system’s security programs (which I didn’t have).”  The technical definition fits perfectly except the “remote access,” as they were fully present in broad daylight, not cyberspace!  Also, TechTarget defines Trojan Horse as “a malicious program that is designed to appear as a legitimate program: once activated, Trojans can execute their malicious functions.”  I can attest to that.

It was a harrowing week with police and insurance reports and multitudinous actions to guard identity theft.  And then there was the looming effort to secure emotions connected to items that were valuable beyond a dollar amount.  I found I had massive amounts of memory stored and storage – the cloud is endless and so is the heart.   I realize there are far worse situations and am merely exploring my small puzzle piece of the world.

You may know, too, that my obsession is using the tech world and computer terminology as an overlay for personal exploration.  It’s here I began my SELF Search.  If I am choosing the software and apps that I want to facilitate and perform my functions in the world, why  would I allow (not consciously) a Trojan Horse to infiltrate and enter my domain?  Do I have a personal security system?  I pay Norton enough to oversee my cyberself.  What are my vulnerabilities?  What am I downloading as I scan the news and interact in the world? What am I uploading?  What do I delete?  What’s in my archives?  Do I need to defrag data to more clearly define my identity?  I simply don’t associate with the idea of being a victim.

Do I write my personal code? With this question, my search became more symbolic.  What am I robbing myself of – fulfilling my dreams, aspirations, abilities?  I think we often become entangled in the codes others have written with off-ramps for responsibility, excuses, blame, and reasons for derailments.  Although many may be well intended, they can act like drive-by downloads (automatically downloaded malicious programs to user’s systems without their knowledge), or phishing attacks (disguised messages with malicious links for unsuspecting users).  Broad brushed comments like “the world is hostile” implies a bleak picture, a Trojan Horse, which isn’t on my desktop. 

This search doesn’t offer a conclusion or even answers.  And yet, the questions themselves seem to expand my sense of self - my identity, and my sense of security.

The SEARCH is on.  Join me. 
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