It's the time of year for reflecting.  And upon reflection, I have concluded that I'm an external security risk.  This is not my cyberself, who you probably know by now, runs amuck in a cyber world.  This part of my identity is basically sane but tends to bump into firewalls and knowingly fans the flames. 

No doubt, you know the definition for firewall.  You also may know that I'm fascinated with tech terms and use them as an overlay for exploring personal experience.  Here's Skillcrusher.com's tech definition. "Firewalls are systems designed to protect and secure a computer network from external security risks.  Firewalls monitor inbound and outbound network traffic and determine whether or not to allow the traffic through based on a user-defined set of security standards."  In Self-SEARCH terms, a computer network would include our normally recognized connections, but also, our inner connections - the inner dialogues we have with ourselves and those we often imagine having with others.  

Back to the idea of concluding that I'm an external security risk. You can usually sense when you run into someone's firewall.  The resistance and pushback are obvious even if words are not expressed.  Emotions surface, conversations get heated, and body language is apparent.  All of this has to do with securing our network of personal identity - how we see ourselves.

Firewalls are fascinating and come with different levels of security and sophistication.  Some will deflect, others will defend using various levels of force, and others offer encrypted messages.  There are those that blast missiles of silence, fake a retreat, create other worlds (you're not invited), and some are camouflaged so expertly that you may never know you're fanning the flames.

Over the past year, I have challenged myself to be spontaneous and honest in my encounters and relationships.  It has led me to experience more than a few of the firewall descriptions mentioned.  Some of my ideas and expressions, however well intended, have been perceived as external security risks. They've disrupted an identity.  But, this didn't always happen with others; the most significant ones were regarding myself.  I am an expert deflector and am gaining status in the camouflage technique.  And yet with reflection, I'm becoming aware of the importance to manually adjust my "user-defined set of security standards," rather than to leave it in default mode.  Letting my guard down monitoring inbound and outbound network traffic opens the door to opportunities.  You can be comfortable and safely corralled within a firewall, but the key word here is "corralled." 

Everyone agrees identity is vital.  And, knowing identity changes is vital.  Encouraging growth is essential.  Firewalls can protect the identities of individuals, communities, corporations, and nations, and the user-defined security standards can be set to allow new opportunities and growth.  The user(s) has the responsibility and the opportunity to manually define the set of security standards - it may take extra time and consideration, but doesn't take a geek to write the code.  And it sure beats putting out a fire. 

The SEARCH is on.  Join me

I'd like to practice mindfulness.  If a moment would just be still long enough, I would happily plop myself into it and be grateful - truly grateful.  How is it already the end of the year?  I'm back in June somewhere.  Furthermore, the flurry of this season simply hastens the race to the New Year and all that entails.  I'm agitating myself more by thinking about it.  And once again, the idea of mindfulness floats in like an overarching angel shining down on a lowly sinner. 

Let's take a look at the tech definitions for uptime and downtime.  As you probably know, I'm fascinated by computer terminology and use it as an overlay for personal exploration.  Skillcrush.com explains: "Uptime and downtime describes how long a website, computer, or other system has been working (uptime) or not working (downtime)."  This is simple enough, however, there is no accounting for the cyber-self, mine especially. See Cyberself - No Syndrome.  As far as time is concerned, my cyber-self has no problems.  It simply thrives on cyber action.  I rarely shut down my computer, but will put it on sleep mode in the evening.  There is no doubt my cyber-self does not sleep.  It roams and romps behind a dark monitor screen.  I know this.  How else would Costco and Sierra Trading Post know I still have items in my shopping cart?  And who found new friends for me on Facebook?  And why does my phone send me useless alerts in the middle of the night?

I need some serious downtime.  With this in mind and moving beyond the idea of mindfulness, I've been exploring what I call Subjective Time.  This works for me.  I merely close my eyes and let my mind wonder.  I don't try to calm it, still it, or control it.  I just let it wonder.  I've named this part of myself, the subjective-self.  Although my cyber-self and subjective-self do have similar traits, my subjective-self is not tied to my pocketbook, people, facts, or physical responsibilities.  During Subjective Time, I find myself refreshed as my subjective-self wonders around ideas, drifts in and out of times, places, beliefs, dreams, and gently pushes past the contours of concepts.  I am in a moment that opens to a time outside of time - another meaning for "out of time."  This one suits me.

Uptime, downtime, in or out of time.  Join me. 

Take a look at your computer desktop.  Seriously, take a close look.  What do you see?  It's your primary user interface (UI) - it's your graphical controls, your driver's seat and instrument panel.  It's the common boundary or interconnection between systems, equipment, concepts, human beings, human beings and bots, and moreover, human beings and AI - the Almighty Internet.  Who knew it had such significance and transcendence?  At this point, I'm not sure I should have changed my wallpaper.  With Microsoft and Apple serving their hierarchical archangelic roles, their images might have greater inspiration than mine downloaded from National Geographic.  Actually, I can barely see my wallpaper with all of the "important" files and photos I haven't touched/tapped/clicked in several years scattered about my UI.

Understanding the desktop's supremacy came as I needed to find one of those important docs.  I rummaged through my desktop like a closet - I know I put it in here somewhere.  In the process, I found myself falling into memories and other spheres of influence, like a doorway opening to another time - postulating pasts, formulating futures, and realms of probabilities seeping into my thoughts.  Sidestepping Quantum Theory, let's go straight to TechTerms's definition for desktop.  "The desktop is the primary user interface of a computer.  When you boot up your computer, the desktop is displayed once the startup process is complete.  It includes the desktop background (or wallpaper) and icons of files and folders you may have saved to the desktop.  Since the desktop is always present, items on the desktop can be accessed quickly, rather than requiring you to navigate through several directories."  Simple enough.

As my search continued, I didn't quickly glance over but opened and read the files, and clicked on the thumbnails to full image photos.  I  connected, and was intrigued by my findings.  Emotions and thoughts surfaced as I scrolled through accomplishments, deleted crash sights with ideas that had plummeted, and added plug-ins to dreams still developing.  Most of the photos just made me smile.  Interfacing with a smile is a good thing.

I'm still smiling.  Join me.  

I'm tired.  I'm tired and frazzled with all the fray in the news and began writing a piece entitled, Defragging Democracy.  Not being politically motivated, my thoughts were driven by the idea to clean up the system and have it perform more efficiently and effectively.  Yes, I know every politician says the same thing.  However, if our PCs or laptops weren't functioning properly we would not hesitate a second to run a scan to check for spam, virus, malware, or Trojan horse.  We would do what was needed without question to secure our device, bank account, and our identity. 

In researching the tech terms, I learned that defragmentation is basically outdated unless you're using an old PC or laptop.  Defragmentation is now referred to as Optimization.  The term didn't simply change, the computing hardware did.  Updated high-performance PCs, laptops, and servers now use SSD (solid-state drive), rather than an HDD (hard disk drive). 

Please bear with me through all the tech jargon - I feel this is vital to our nation, and of course to my obsession with tech terms as an overlay for personal exploration.  Here's TechTarget.com's explanation for SSD.  "An SSD (solid-state drive) is a type of nonvolatile (thank goodness) storage media that stores persistent data (this would help) on solid-state flash memory.  The architectural configuration of the SSD controller is optimized to deliver high read and write performance for both sequential and random data requests."  (Our objective, right?)  "Unlike a hard disk drive (HHD), an SSD has no moving parts to break or spin up or down and be subject to mechanical failure."  (We're there.)  "The SSD is also quieter and consumes less power than its disk counterpart."  (This is a big plus. And the next feature is impressive).  "The SSD controller software includes predictive analytics that alert a user in advance of a potential drive failure."

Enough said.  It's not rocket science, (although I was lost in a maze of tech articles), just common sense.  We merely need to upgrade and optimize our government to an SSD Democracy.  It'll be quieter, less volatile, have persistent data, be able to deal with random issues, know future outcomes, use less energy, and have no need to spin.  Problem solved.  I'm voting for an SSD Democracy upgrade. And I need an SSD Self upgrade. 

The SEARCH is on.  Join me. 

Yep, that's my new Subscriber Identification Module.  I've decided to embrace what I feel others are thinking, which is that I am a pain in the backside.  Lately, I've given myself latitude to express what I'm genuinely feeling - a mental and emotional freedom.  My intention is not to be rude nor to make anyone uncomfortable, but to be able to freely breathe my thoughts and ride the current of my emotions.  I find it diminishing and draining to pre-think and choreograph my conversations.  I will only jump so high in volume as I speak, so as not to offend you or the neighbors or bystanders.  I will venture only to the edge of an idea in case it disturbs your boundaries and beliefs and your fear of falling.  My emotions will remain ankle-deep - no tossing, turning or water up your nose.  And as for my aspirations and dreams, rest assured the ones I mention will fit standard template designs and colors.

This is what I've been experiencing when connecting with my network.  With my Verizon network, I've been dropping calls and fading in and out of connectivity - similar, it seems.  I visited the Verizon store the other day regarding these tech issues.  They suggested a new SIM card for my new phone.  You may know, I'm fascinated (obsessed) by computer terminology and use it as an overlay for personal exploration.  And you may know, also, that I have a tendency to impose my obsession in conversations, which can be a pain for others.  Here's Techopedia.com's definition for SIM card.  "SIM stands for subscriber identity module.  It's a removable smart card inside a cell phone that stores data unique to the user, as an identification number, passwords, phone numbers, and messages, which allows the user to make receive calls and access cellular data."  

After reading far too much tech information, simply stated, a SIM card is your identity placed inside a cell phone.  It is an essential piece in the ever-growing digital communication process.  That said, I believe the new addition to my identity is essential, too, however disruptive it might be.  Expressing a genuine perception to another and ourselves, I feel is a valued gift. What is more intimate and meaningful than our perspective, our perception, our view of the world?  And as the tech definition states, every user has their unique data.  

A new SIM card carrying a newly defined free-forming pain the backside identity - sounds like an adventure to me!

The SEARCH is on.  Join me. 

It's incredible how together we can be in our contortions.  Every movement, emotion, and expression are in harmony - nothing out of alignment. This synchronized streaming is often performed with others without thinking. We smile, they smile.  A grimace promotes an empathetic grimace.  We ride along our conversations, thoughts, and emotions at a safe speed.  But underneath the surface there can be momentum building, collapsing, clashing.  It's the theory of personal relativity in action.  I presented a perfect example of this theory several days ago.  I was in sync with every twisted thought and excuse I had.  I was flawlessly frustrated.

As you may know, I'm fascinated (obsessed) by computer terminology and use it as an overlay for personal exploration.  Soundsupport.biz offers this definition and explanation for streaming.  "Streaming is transmitting a continuous flow of audio and/or video data while earlier parts are being used.  The term refers to the delivery method of the data rather than the data.  Streamed data is not stored on you computer.  The data is being continuously sent to your computer and your computer displays earlier parts while subsequent parts are being received.  Once the earlier parts have been displayed, they are typically discarded."  

Whew!  The last sentence is a good thing.  I definitely don't want what I was streaming in frustration to be installed on my hard drive.  This thought initiated a further SEARCH - what is being streamed and what is being actually downloaded regarding my thoughts and beliefs.  I mentally scuffed and stomped around, but eventually found that emotions were key in the search, and only honesty can provide answers - and inspiration.  Interestingly, it was the inspiration that I was missing as I worked on a creative project that began my disruptive day.  Once I uncovered the real cause of my frustration everything came into alignment - synchronized streaming, once again. Although this time, I downloaded it. 

The SEARCH led me to wonder, too, about the synchronized streaming of honesty. Think about it. False politeness would  be archived. Time and money would be saved in numerous ways considering the meetings and summits arranged with little expectation for advancement. Besides the world stage, think of the energy spent on personal justifications and excuses, which already has me with depleted bandwidth for the month.  

As always, the SEARCH is on.  Join me. 

Waiting patiently with buffered comments is not my idea of a conversation.  I tend to include (intrude) my thoughts while others are expressing theirs - I interrupt.  I see it as being engaged, listening, responding - a dynamic conversation.  I liken it to reading online articles. I'll often take my cursor and follow the hyperlinks adding to and rounding out the topic.  Free-forming, real-time dialogue is invigorating, though not necessarily considered polite.  A conversation cursor could solve the problem.  And it would be a perfect new app for augmented reality glasses.

As you probably know, I use tech terms as an overlay for personal experience.  It's fun, and a slightly different angle often can offer a better understanding to a situation.  Here's TechTerm.com's definition for cursor.  "The cursor on your screen can indicate two things:  1) where your mouse pointer is, or 2) where the next character typed will be entered in a line text."  I'm interrupting the definition to include my idea.  As I envision a Cursor for Conversations, when someone wants to add to the conversation, their thoughts will automatically be typed out on everyone's glasses screen.  The thoughts will be interjected by the placement of your cursor.  The conversation will not be interrupted, and all expressions are included.  Perfect.  It'll encourage dynamic, free-flowing conversations. 

Back to the cursor definition.  "The mouse cursor is most often an arrow that you can use to point to different objects on your screen.  When the cursor is over an object, you can click or double-click the mouse button to perform an action on that object (such as opening a program)."  I'm going to interrupt again.  I'd like to be able to open more than a program with this new app.  Opening a mind would be real progress regarding many conversations I've had lately. 

Back to the definition.   "The mouse cursor can change into other images, such as a small hand (when you roll over a link in a Web page), or an hourglass (when Windows is "thinking" so hard, it won't let you click on anything)."  Another thought - knowing someone is thinking about what you're saying is a good thing.  To software developers out there - this will be a valuable feature to include. 

Definition continued.  "The text cursor is typically a straight vertical line or I-shaped object that flashes in a line of text."  Excuse me, but I know that.  "Typically, when you are typing a paper, the cursor will be at the end of the line, because you are adding new text to the uncharted white area. of the page."  I especially like the idea of white space and conversations being uncharted.

Definition.  "However, if you want to insert a word or erase somewhere else in a line of text, you can use the mouse cursor to click the position where you would like to insert the text."  Erasing some of the things I say would be a good thing.  Take note app developers. 

In closing, "In most word processing programs, once you start typing, the text cursor continues to flash, but the mouse point disappears until you move the mouse again.  This is avoid, "cursor Confusion," since most people can't type and click on things at the same time."  I agree, avoiding confusion is always a good thing.

Who would have guessed a definition for cursor would be so involved and detailed?  My friends would probably say to me,  "Just get to the point,"  Maybe the Cursor for Conversations app should include a quick scroll through to the end.  No, that won't work, conversations are best uncharted.  

Know I'm open for conversations with lots of white space and interruptions.  

As always, the SEARCH is on.  Join me. 

When you have a neighbor tell you to turn off your output, there’s a good indication you have a problem.  Recently a fellow hiker delivered this message in caps to my face, not a text.  This was not her exact wording, but it was how I translated the message using tech terms as an overlay for personal experience (it’s my obsession).  She apparently felt my streaming whitewater thoughts were disruptive, which was not my input, nor my intended output.  This, along with some continuing buffering and bloatware in the system, caused me to realize that I wasn’t reaching optimal performance.   I assumed there must be an output problem and began my search.

Here is TechTerm.com’s definition of output. “Output is data generated by a computer. This includes software level calculations (mathematical operations and search results), or at a physical level, like a printed document.  Devices such as the printer, monitor and computer speakers are some common output devices.  And here’s a simple tech definition for input. “Any data entered into a computer is referred to as input.  Input can be something as simple as moving or clicking a mouse button, or as complex as scanning a document, or downloading photos, audio, and video.”

The definitions were straightforward and simple, but the word "data" seemed to play a key role, and I suspected a pivotal one.  Merriam-Webster defines data as, “information output by a sensing device that includes useful and irrelevant or redundant information and must be processed to be meaningful."  There you have it!  The word meaningful is the culprit.  Is there a more subjective word?  It’s the variable that has to become a part of the calculation.  Or not, I’m thinking now.  Do I need to calculate all the variable responses to my output?  Do I need to dilute the processing of my input in fear of another’s output? 

Ideally, I think not.  What is more fundamental to an individual than their perspective and how they view the world?  It’s their pixel in this mosaic mainframe.  For now, I will continue to process what I find to be meaningful.  The input or output problem is resolved as long as I remember that meaningful is a variable in the calculation of communication – with others and with ourselves.

Know that I appreciate your input and output, however irrelevant, irreverent, redundant, or meaningful.

The SEARCH is always on. Join me. 

I had a drive-by download happen this week and NOT to my computer.  The upload was quickly stashed into a Trojan Horse black Jeep, and off they went.  The malware wormed through the neighborhood presenting themselves as honest individuals looking for work.  The upload included my computers, jewelry, keepsakes, photos and more.  They entered through the backdoor, and interestingly I found this has a tech term counterpart called RAT.  How appropriate.  Remote Access Trojan (RAT), defined by TechTarget, “is a malicious program (person, in my case) that secretly creates a backdoor (I had one) into an infected system (not until they arrived) that allows threat actors (I guess this is politically correct) to remote access it without altering the user (I was at Costco) or the system’s security programs (which I didn’t have).”  The technical definition fits perfectly except the “remote access,” as they were fully present in broad daylight, not cyberspace!  Also, TechTarget defines Trojan Horse as “a malicious program that is designed to appear as a legitimate program: once activated, Trojans can execute their malicious functions.”  I can attest to that.

It was a harrowing week with police and insurance reports and multitudinous actions to guard identity theft.  And then there was the looming effort to secure emotions connected to items that were valuable beyond a dollar amount.  I found I had massive amounts of memory stored and storage – the cloud is endless and so is the heart.   I realize there are far worse situations and am merely exploring my small puzzle piece of the world.

You may know, too, that my obsession is using the tech world and computer terminology as an overlay for personal exploration.  It’s here I began my SELF Search.  If I am choosing the software and apps that I want to facilitate and perform my functions in the world, why  would I allow (not consciously) a Trojan Horse to infiltrate and enter my domain?  Do I have a personal security system?  I pay Norton enough to oversee my cyberself.  What are my vulnerabilities?  What am I downloading as I scan the news and interact in the world? What am I uploading?  What do I delete?  What’s in my archives?  Do I need to defrag data to more clearly define my identity?  I simply don’t associate with the idea of being a victim.

Do I write my personal code? With this question, my search became more symbolic.  What am I robbing myself of – fulfilling my dreams, aspirations, abilities?  I think we often become entangled in the codes others have written with off-ramps for responsibility, excuses, blame, and reasons for derailments.  Although many may be well intended, they can act like drive-by downloads (automatically downloaded malicious programs to user’s systems without their knowledge), or phishing attacks (disguised messages with malicious links for unsuspecting users).  Broad brushed comments like “the world is hostile” implies a bleak picture, a Trojan Horse, which isn’t on my desktop. 

This search doesn’t offer a conclusion or even answers.  And yet, the questions themselves seem to expand my sense of self - my identity, and my sense of security.

The SEARCH is on.  Join me. 

 I am growing impatient bowing my head in reverence to all things IT and ignoring what I sense is a decline - not in data, but in daring. Can any of you Geek Gods code daring?  We need some bold, courageous action.  This new tech renaissance/religion/revolution has become a slow read.  It’s routine.  We get it, we’re programmed (literally).  Our phones are appendages, and we all know we’re going to need a new one in less than two years.  We know to answer work emails on our personal time, which isn’t anymore.  We know to tweet and text and superficially engage.  Virtual shopping just makes sense, as do photos of our food and playing video games in virtual worlds. It has even been reported in a recent Precision Medicine Forum article that “Mark Zuckerberg already has an avatar of himself which is able to walk around his virtual home and make things happen in his physical home.”  That’s impressive, though not surprising.  Mark’s Ark also has a large leak which is a problem he needs to fix, but that’s another topic.

So, what’s my problem?  I don’t want an avatar!  As you know, an avatar is an icon or figure representing a particular person in a video game, Internet forum, etc.  Some refer to it as a personal icon.  I don’t need an avatar.  I have a cyberself, as I’ve mentioned before (Cyberself - No Syndrome), who has a mind and will of its own.  And as far as a representation of me, I would say it’s a free-spirited counterpart, maybe.  But even this is beside the point.

I am impatient with the lack of real adventure in the development of technology.  Why are we lollygagging around?  Let’s go ahead and make the polar shift happen.  Instead of moving to a new planet, as suggested by Stephen Hawking, let’s just turn the controls over to AI (Artificial Intelligence, aka, Almighty Internet), including our cyberselves.  We wouldn’t have to worry about gun control, too many items in a virtual shopping cart, Putin, NK, three hours of time wasted on useless YouTube videos, energy consumption, comments on articles no one is going to read, or global warming.  Everything would be calculated in algorithms that we cannot begin to imagine.  Think about it - a world of computed solutions.

It sounds daring and even daunting as all control would be relinquished to AI.  Although as I think about it, I sense there is something even more daring, more adventurous – true creativity, not complex calculations set for solutions. A creativity that reaches beyond the idea of solutions, sciences, and fine art – a creativity that wonders about the world and the self and what could be. The same creativity that gave birth to all things IT and AI. And know, there’s not a whiff of sacrilege here, just daring to consider imagination and inspiration – no confines, no coding, no avatars or algorithms.
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The SEARCH is always on. Join me.